I posted this today, but I have just updated it. The second image is updated. I changed the name of the band on the tape to Local H because they rock!
Category: Funny
Kim Tae-young “This isn’t StarCraft”
This is a great quote my brother found on Gizmodo.
Last week, North Korea shelled a South Korean island, sending the peninsula in to “crisis status.” The South fired several test shots in response but, according to the New York Times, the country denied that any hit the North.
South Korean defense minister Kim Tae-young was questioned by one politician why the South’s retaliation was delayed 13 minutes and not forceful enough, to which Kim replied, “This isn’t StarCraft.”
Halloween
Lets Please Brake Up Weezer
My brother Abe, pointed me to a damn funny post in The Stranger titled: Want to See Weezer Break Up? Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is! Essentially James Burns, of seattle (who I now think is one of the smartest people in the world) has this game plan of getting 10 million dollars together to give the band Weezer, if they will break up.
James writes:
I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s.
But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.
Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since “Pinkerton,” and what happens? Another pile of crap like “Beverly Hills” or “I’m Your Daddy.”
This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now.
I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year.
I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos.
I’m sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days.
If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought “Pinkerton” pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.
I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear.
I am standing behind james by making a donation to this (what can only be described honestly as a) humanitarian cause. If this works and James is successfully able spare the world from another crap fest album from this shitty band I can only hope he will shift his attention to getting other bands to stop.
My suggestions? Lenny god damn Kravitz.
So what happens if James raises the 10 million and Weezer refuses accept it. James has this to say:
One of the most pervasive criticisms of this campaign is that the money could be used for a better cause.
And after reading many of the comments on The Point site and others, I have decided to do just that.
So IF we raise the Ten Million (and remember, no money changes hands until we do,) and IF Weezer declines the money (because calling them “mediocre” would be generous, and they should just go away, really)….
…wait for it…
…wait for it…
I am going to be donating the ten million dollars to RIF (Reading Is Fundamental) programs across the country. Because for fuck sakes, most of y’all’s reading comprehension is for shit, and it appears that most of you don’t read well enough to appreciate humor.
I might also open a journalism school. Teach some of you copypasta “journalists” how to do something called “fact-checking.
Geez oh pete, you people are insufferable.
James is a damn funny guy and checking out The Stranger site and The Point site just to read the comments and his replays is well worth the time.
Youseph Takes A Yoga Class
Hannah has been asking me for a few weeks now to join her Yoga class at the local overpriced GYM in town. I finally conceded and joined her recently.
Now personally don’t have anything against Yoga. It seems like a very healthy and smart activity for anyone to partake in. I however like to just stick with a couple of the same pieces of work out equipment when I go to the GYM. It’s not that I am scared of change, it’s just that it’s a class.
After work one day recently we drove out to the gym to attend this basic Yoga class. Hannah is perfectly capable of attending a more advanced class, but I did not want to push it my first time. I wanted to make sure I could handle the basic class before attempting something more advanced.
When we walked into the class at the GYM and it was clear that the room we walked into clearly is used for other aerobic classes. Hannah walked across the room and grab us both a mat while I stood sheepishly by the door not sure what I should be doing with myself. Their where other people in the class talking and stretching. Hannah motioned for me to come over and said into my ear “You need to take your shoes off hunny”. I looked around and saw that everyone else in the room had their shoes on, but I was desperate for something to do rather than just standing out-of-place by the door. So I walked back by the door and took off my shoes. Hannah saw this, grabbed her water bottle and walked up to me.
“You need to take your socks off too” she said.
“Are you fucking kidding me! You still have your shoes and socks on!”
“That’s because I am going to go fill up my water bottle now. Just take off your socks and go sit Indian style on the mat I laid out for you and you will look like you fit in”. Which is what I did all while trying not to laugh.
It seemed like as soon as I sat down on the matt everyone else in the room pretty much followed suit with me. Which I am glad for because It made me feel a little less out-of-place in the class.
Hannah came back and sat next to me on her mat and the class began.
The class lasted an hour and I started to sweat halfway through. I was able to perform 97% of all the odd poses that were requested of me and in general I really did enjoy the class. Chances are I will be attending this class a few more times.
I Win at Failing and I Fail to Win, But You Will Be Owned
Recently I have been reading about words and sentence structure. The proper use of words and how they should be applied to sentences. It’s help me put into writing one of my pet peeves about words in this digital age.
I can not stand the use of the word ‘FAIL‘ as a stand alone expression of failure. It drives me up the wall! The thought that it is sufficient to us a single word to express someone or somethings inability to succeed as a form of mockery is enough to make me throw my MacBook Pro out the window. Also, the person who thought up using the word ‘WIN‘ to express the opposite can just burn in hell.
On the other hand I am a big fan of using the word ‘OWNED‘ to express a failed attempted or ones triumph over another. Why ‘owned’ doesn’t bother me but ‘FAIL’ does, just personal preference. Also, all the ass holes out their who us the word ‘POWNeD‘ can just fuck right off.
Reliving The Best Parts of 1986
I gotta do something here, I still can’t believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I’m gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to Top Gun.
My brother came home from fishing. He barely got inside and put his things down when he asked, “Did you get a new game?”
“Yeah! Two actually. I got Top Gun and Mortal Kombat II.”
“Rarely in life has anything cooler ever been said.”
How true his statement is. Top Gun is was on the best movies ever made. It was one of the best things to ever come out of 1986. Growing up Top Gun was the movie to watch. Hell, it’s still the movie to watch. Especially when you don’t know what you want to watch. You can always toss in Top Gun and instantly feel good.
Earlier that day I head learned that a Top Gun video game was being released for download on the PlayStation 3. It was a high priority for me to try this game out when I got home from work. My brother walked in on me just as I had booted it up. Together we spent the next few hours, and then days, flying our way through the tutorials and starting our missions.
The game follows the original Top Gun movie pretty well. Several lines are reused from the movie throughout the entire game which does nothing but make my brother and I smile and remind us how cool the Top Gun movie is. From what I have read on-line the producers of this game got help from the original screenwriter of the movie to created fresh action at flight school and they added more combat against the Soviets over the Indian Ocean. This game is just all kinds of awesome! Having music from the original movie does nothing but make me believe I can pull off a 4G inverted dive.
My brother and I have been playing through the story mode together. One day I was walking out the door and Abe asked me “You want to play Top Gun?”
“No I can’t, I got to go”
“Can I play?”
“Yes, Just not story mode”
Abe fired up the PS3 and loaded Top Gun just as I was getting ready to leave.
“What is horde mode?” he asked.
“I don’t know”
Abe started up horde mode, the screen loaded and a voice came on and said “It’s just you, the sky, and an endless supply of enemies.”
“Alright!” he exclaimed, “I bet you wish you could stay.”
“Yeah I do. This sucks”