Lets Please Brake Up Weezer

My brother Abe, pointed me to a damn funny post in The Stranger titled: Want to See Weezer Break Up? Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is! Essentially James Burns, of seattle (who I now think is one of the smartest people in the world) has this game plan of getting 10 million dollars together to give the band Weezer, if they will break up.

James writes:

I have never been a fan of this band. I think that they are pretty much horrible, and always have been. Even in the early 90’s.

But this isn’t about me. This is about the Weezer fans. They are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our lovers.

Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he’s changed, and that their new album is the best thing that he’s done since “Pinkerton,” and what happens? Another pile of crap like “Beverly Hills” or “I’m Your Daddy.”

This is an abusive relationship, and it needs to stop now.

I am tired of my friends being disappointed year after year.

I am tired of endless whimsical cutesy album covers and music videos.

I’m sick of hearing about whatever this terrible (and yes, even if you like the early stuff, you should be able to admit that they are wretched now) excuse for a band is up to these days.

If all 852,000 of you (really?) who bought “Pinkerton” pitch in $12, we will meet our goal.

I beg you, Weezer. Take our money and disappear.

I am standing behind james by making a donation to this (what can only be described honestly as a) humanitarian cause. If this works and James is successfully able spare the world from another crap fest album from this shitty band I can only hope he will shift his attention to getting other bands to stop.

My suggestions? Lenny god damn Kravitz.

So what happens if James raises the 10 million and Weezer refuses accept it. James has this to say:

One of the most pervasive criticisms of this campaign is that the money could be used for a better cause.

And after reading many of the comments on The Point site and others, I have decided to do just that.

So IF we raise the Ten Million (and remember, no money changes hands until we do,) and IF Weezer declines the money (because calling them “mediocre” would be generous, and they should just go away, really)….

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

I am going to be donating the ten million dollars to RIF (Reading Is Fundamental) programs across the country. Because for fuck sakes, most of y’all’s reading comprehension is for shit, and it appears that most of you don’t read well enough to appreciate humor.

I might also open a journalism school. Teach some of you copypasta “journalists” how to do something called “fact-checking.

Geez oh pete, you people are insufferable.

James is a damn funny guy and checking out The Stranger site and The Point site just to read the comments and his replays is well worth the time.

Author: Youseph

Cohost of the TransMissions Podcast. Writer, Blogger, Musician.

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